I’m from the Ballard kitchen table . . .<\/p>\n
Where using the back door is a sign of intimacy.<\/p>\n
Where we knew it was company when someone used the front door, requiring us to holler out an apology for taking so long to open the door that was perpetually locked and stuck tight.<\/p>\n
I\u2019m from the Ballard kitchen table . . .<\/p>\n
Where grown-ups sip Luzianne coffee<\/p>\n
so strong it puts hair on the chest of women<\/p>\n
and scares it off the men.<\/p>\n
I\u2019m from the Ballard kitchen table . . .<\/p>\n
where the women<\/p>\n
cry silently throughout the day<\/p>\n
and years later<\/p>\n
decades later<\/p>\n
lifetimes later<\/p>\n
their children remember and wonder why.<\/p>\n
I\u2019m from the Ballard kitchen table . . .<\/p>\n
Where the women have their own heavily lacquered chair<\/p>\n
within reach of the refrigerator, the sideboard, and the stove. Chairs<\/p>\n
seldom used as the women keep plates filled with nourishment and glasses filled<\/p>\n
with sweet tea to wash it down with.<\/p>\n
I\u2019m from the Ballard kitchen table . . .<\/p>\n
where the men shoot guns<\/p>\n
and butcher hogs<\/p>\n
while the women swap fabric scraps in brown paper bags<\/p>\n
and sew quilts for every family member<\/p>\n
and plant, tend, and harvest the summer garden,<\/p>\n
cooking fresh vegetables for lunch<\/p>\n
and stocking the pantry with canned vegetables for the winter.<\/p>\n
I\u2019m from the Ballard kitchen table . . .<\/p>\n
where Grandmother refused the gift of a dishwasher,<\/p>\n
sending it straightaway to its final resting place in the back of the barn<\/p>\n
preferring to spend however long it took to wash, rinse, and dry the considerable number of containers and utensils used at any given meal.<\/p>\n
I\u2019m from the Ballard kitchen table . . .<\/p>\n
where Granddaddy told his stories over and over and over again<\/p>\n
where Grandmother remained silent as though she had none.<\/p>\n
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~<\/p>\n
I\u2019m from the Hewell table . . .<\/p>\n
where the women enjoy dressing nicely, being with men and each other.<\/p>\n
where women earn their keep by taking care of the men in their lives.<\/p>\n
I\u2019m from the Hewell table . . .<\/p>\n
where personal information is kept<\/p>\n
tucked safely away behind closed lips<\/p>\n
so it can\u2019t be used as a weapon against you.<\/p>\n
I\u2019m from the Hewell table . . .<\/p>\n
where it\u2019s nobody\u2019s business how old you are<\/p>\n
’cause if they know how old you are, they’ll treat you that way.<\/p>\n
Just ’cause you can count something, doesn’t mean it counts.<\/p>\n
I\u2019m from the Hewell table . . .<\/p>\n
where the women hate to bother anybody.<\/p>\n
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~<\/p>\n
I write at a kitchen table that belonged to both my grandmothers<\/p>\n
and to the town library before them.<\/p>\n
A table where Granddaddy Hewell patiently fed my<\/p>\n
Grandmother one bite at a time after the strokes<\/p>\n
left her arms and hands useless.<\/p>\n
I write at a kitchen table where the leftovers<\/p>\n
were pushed to the center of the table after the meal<\/p>\n
and covered with a clean tablecloth, allowing<\/p>\n
us to graze our way through the rest of the day<\/p>\n
not knowing what was available to eat<\/p>\n
until<\/p>\n
we lifted the covering and looked underneath.<\/p>\n
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~<\/p>\n
I\u2019m from women who have staying power.<\/p>\n
Resiliency?<\/p>\n
I don\u2019t think so. They didn\u2019t bounce back as much as they persevered.<\/p>\n
Determination.<\/p>\n
Resolve.<\/p>\n
Those are words that work.<\/p>\n
Resignation.<\/p>\n
Perhaps that\u2019s The Word I seek.<\/p>\n
I\u2019m from women who just kept putting one foot in front of the other<\/p>\n
Motion.<\/p>\n
Keep moving.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou\u2019ll feel better if you move\u201d, they\u2019d say.<\/p>\n
along with:<\/p>\n
\u201cThis, too, shall pass\u201d<\/p>\n
or<\/p>\n
\u201cIt could be worse.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDid your life turn out the way you\u2019d imagined it would?\u201d I\u2019d ask them.<\/p>\n
If not \u2013 and I\u2019d hasten to ask Does it ever? \u2013<\/p>\n
Why did they stay?<\/p>\n
Why didn\u2019t they change something?<\/p>\n
Or did they try?<\/p>\n
Did they feel helpless?<\/p>\n
Did they buy into the patriarchy-infested religion,<\/p>\n
believing that their lot in life was precisely what they\u2019d earned?<\/p>\n
What they deserved?<\/p>\n
Did they believe that some male figure sat Up There<\/p>\n
and decided that they were worth no more or no less<\/p>\n
than their current lot in life at any given time?<\/p>\n
How did they make themselves believe that everything was okay?<\/p>\n
And who am I to say it wasn\u2019t?<\/p>\n
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I’m from the Ballard kitchen table . . . Where using the back door is a sign of intimacy. Where we knew it was company when someone used the front door, requiring us to holler out an apology for taking so long to open the door that was perpetually locked and stuck tight. I\u2019m from […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-10","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/autoquiltography.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/autoquiltography.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/autoquiltography.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/autoquiltography.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/autoquiltography.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=10"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/autoquiltography.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/autoquiltography.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=10"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/autoquiltography.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=10"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/autoquiltography.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=10"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}