True Grain(s)

True Grain(s)
The best way to find the true grain of fabric is to rip it.

Ignoring questions I hurl at myself about Why and How and What will I do with it afterwards and Who will be interested in it anyway and Where will I store it, I find the true grain of every piece of fabric in that one box. I rip fabric with images of pine cones that represent the land of my birth. I rip fabric with images of butterflies, once the emblem of my company. I rip fabric with images of stars and moons and flowers and scissors. I rip fabric of dusty pink, coral, and soft blues – fabric I now find hideous but once loved. I rip the fabric I created that day when I played in the driveway with a friend creating fabric from special solar-activated paint, the fabric I felt wasn’t nearly as pretty or interesting or good as what she created. I rip myself a pile of true grains, and when I fold the remaining fabric up, I do not fold along the well-preserved creases. I fold it a new way.

Soon – very soon, maybe even tomorrow soon – I’ll use the fabric in a new way, too. Will probably create something that has to be dusted, but still. I’ve finally started and for today, that’s enough.


One Response to True Grain(s)

  1. Mom says:

    Your projects are so varied–you have so many talents.

    I have so few talents–but can’t seem to apply them to accomplish the things that need to be done.

    I came from a meeting today realizing how precious the time that I have left is and how I need, truly need, to start tying up loose ends that are everywhere I look.

    Maybe I’ll think of a plan.

    Maybe I’ll stay focused enough to do ONE thing if I can’t do all of them.

    Thanks for these writings. I feel that I am getting to know this new, ever new, changing, you. You really are a wonderful person.

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