The best way to find the true grain of fabric is to rip it.
Ignoring questions I hurl at myself about Why and How and What will I do with it afterwards and Who will be interested in it anyway and Where will I store it, I find the true grain of every piece of fabric in that one box. I rip fabric with images of pine cones that represent the land of my birth. I rip fabric with images of butterflies, once the emblem of my company. I rip fabric with images of stars and moons and flowers and scissors. I rip fabric of dusty pink, coral, and soft blues – fabric I now find hideous but once loved. I rip the fabric I created that day when I played in the driveway with a friend creating fabric from special solar-activated paint, the fabric I felt wasn’t nearly as pretty or interesting or good as what she created. I rip myself a pile of true grains, and when I fold the remaining fabric up, I do not fold along the well-preserved creases. I fold it a new way.
Soon – very soon, maybe even tomorrow soon – I’ll use the fabric in a new way, too. Will probably create something that has to be dusted, but still. I’ve finally started and for today, that’s enough.
Your projects are so varied–you have so many talents.
I have so few talents–but can’t seem to apply them to accomplish the things that need to be done.
I came from a meeting today realizing how precious the time that I have left is and how I need, truly need, to start tying up loose ends that are everywhere I look.
Maybe I’ll think of a plan.
Maybe I’ll stay focused enough to do ONE thing if I can’t do all of them.
Thanks for these writings. I feel that I am getting to know this new, ever new, changing, you. You really are a wonderful person.